destiny's child had a point...

i haven't blogged in a while, but these days i need to do something to get emotions out and writing is the only way to do it since the person that i want to listen won't....

"hey, ladies, why is it that men can go do us wrong? why is it that we just decide to keep holdin' on? why is it that we never just seem to just have the same to leave?" hoooo-hum....this 90's destiny's child song rings so true in my mind right now.

the situation: in a relationship with a guy who claims he loves you, but won't put the time or effort forth to make your relationship actually work...so, what to do? every time you get ready to shut the door and move on he calls and tells you what you want to hear...sugar coating things and softening your anger...as if he has some sort of radar that beeps and tells him when you're fed up. so, how many times do you allow him to spit his bull before you hit the roof? how long do you stay around hoping, praying, wishing things better because you really do love this guy? he's not doing anything bad like cheating or partying incessantly...nope, he's simply just too busy with work. yes, you want a guy that is ambitious, but not so ambitious that you get placed after making money and success...or should you be thankful that you have a good guy that wants to be successful when we all know that the dating field for Black women isn't the most promising? a grown man should be able to balance between a successful career and a working relationship, and a guy that says he's too busy then maybe he is too busy for a relationship altogether? hmmmm....a lot of things to ponder.

why is it so hard to put yourself "out there"? it's like girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy makes no moves to show that he likes girl, girl puts herself out there and then epic fail...well, maybe not fail, but maybe not the response girl was seeking either...so what happens then? does girl try to put herself out on the limb yet again...maybe a different approach or does girl just let things be? what if girl can't get boy out of her head...even though girl tries?
why oh why must the dating scene be so difficult?! sometimes i wish, just ever so slightly, that we still lived in the era of arranged marriages...that way i would already be betrothed and probably on my way to learning to love boy and eventually starting a family....i mean, really i wouldn't like having my parents arrange my marriage, but it would have to be easier than trying to find or be found by boy! ugh...God just send the right one my way...SOON...PLEASE?!

change brings contentment

So, I don't do the whole New Years' resolution thing because I think you're just setting yourself up for failure. On the other hand, I do think that everyone has room for change and I will be the first to say that I need a lot of work! So, no resolutions, just a mind and a will to do some changing in the near future. I've already began making little changes to the way I live and look at life and I must say that I am content with my decisions. Actually following through on all of the decisions hasn't happened yet, but the minute changes that I have made have made me very happy; and knowing that I'm on the road to changing some of the ways I live makes me even more content. It's not an easy road I've chosen, but the things I've decided have made me happy and this year that's what it's all about with me...making RACHAEL happy. I'm in a state of contentment right now and it's leading me to when I can get a daily dose of joy...

new at this whole blogging thing...hmmmm

so, i joined this blog to be able to comment on chelsi's blogs...i had no intention of writing my own blogs, but with the name of "the secret life of rachael" this blog thing might not be such a bad way to expose some of the mis-adventures and mis-education of my life presently....we'll see...it might be possible that there are more blurbs about my life coming soon...we shall see.